Food for Sister
I wrote it in Tagalog but I wanted to translate into English. Here's my Tagalog story of it. kabilang buhay
"I tried to forget you because I knew you were happy with him. But why did you do this to me?"
My tears flowed incessantly along with the heavy downpour of the rain. It's hard to accept that it's just a storm happening in my life right now. I have only had a very lively life since I met Joana. I still remember how my heart first beat because of the woman. One sluggish afternoon I was walking home from work. I was very tired then and it seemed like there was no energy left. Suddenly I caught a glimpse of a gentle-faced girl. She was sitting outside the house. I stopped to rest and just watch her too. I noticed she was just staring in one direction. Later someone came up to her and helped her walk. I did not feel sorry because she was blind but my heart immediately beat with her already. The day passed and we became friends but because I wanted more there.
"Why me, Paul? You know my status, don't you?"
She explained to me but I did not listen. I know in myself that I love her and no one else matters.
"How many times should I tell you that I already know what you are but I still love you," I explained to her. She fell into silent suddenly and suddenly wiped her eyes because she was in tears. I thought maybe she was teasing me or she was angry. So I apologized and planned to leave.
"I'm sorry Joana, I'll just leave. Please don't cry because I'm hurting inside."
She suddenly sighed and laughed. I wondered why but she suddenly spoke. "Thank you, Paul, all right I love you too. I hope you don't regret loving me." I stared and glared because I could not believe what she said.
"YES !," I suddenly shouted as I grabbed her hand and jumped. "I'm so happy Joana, no taking back of words, eh?." She laughed steadily but even if she did not see the joy on my face. I know she felt my voice when it was full of fun. We spent the day and month together. My day was full of joy and I no longer know sadness. Thanks to Joana for giving colour to my life. Even though I am tired from work, it disappeared when I saw her. We also went into crowded places to have a date. She refused because she was ashamed to go out but she just didn't know what people looked like while watching us together. I didn't know if they were angry because my girlfriend was very beautiful and meanwhile I am just hot. I didn't care for them as long as I'm happy.
"Paul, aren't you ashamed of people who you're being with is blind like me?" She suddenly asked me. I was proud to laugh. But honestly, I should be the shy one because I heard their words that we were not suitable.
"Why as long as we're both good-looking, they will stat silent," my boasted respond. Joana suddenly smiled and asked.
"Are you handsome Paul?" I was suddenly taken aback by her question as she smiled and she continued to speak. "At least I know you're handsome but am I beautiful?"
I didn't know how to answer her but it was necessary. "Yes, you are so beautiful Joana so they keep on looking to us. As for me, I'm probably kind but just add the hot aura," I smiled and said to myself. "Sorry lord for lying." Joana just laughed and suddenly hugged me.
"Thank you, Paul, for being part of my life." I was touched by what she said and I seemed to cry.
"As for you, I should just because I love you so much."
The month passed and her family suddenly decided to operate on Joana's eyes. If it's just me to be asked it's fine not to anymore but I feel sorry for Joana because she also wants to see the world. I was orphaned with her and I really miss her. Every day and every night I was looking for her. Even though it hurts in my heart not to see her, I accepted it because it's for her own good. What I could not accept was when I saw that she was with someone else when I waited for her to arrive at their house. I ran closer to her and noticed that she can see already. And because I missed her so much, I suddenly hugged her and asked.
"How are you Joa-," I couldn't finish speaking because she pushed me.
"Who are you ?! Honey who is this guy?" She no longer knows me and she loved someone else. Of course, I could not accept that so I asked him that man
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO JOANA ?!"
I was furious and I wanted to punch the guy.
"Wait a minute, just calm down and I'll explain," the man replied.
The man could not explain because Joana's sister explained it to me. She said that when they went to the operation abroad, the vehicle they were riding in had an accident. Joana had amnesia and this man was watching over her while she was in the hospital and so when Joana regained consciousness and could see already. This man was the first she saw. I could not accept what happened but I just tolerated it because Joana was started to be afraid of me.
I couldn't bear the pain of losing Joana forever. Every night I got drunk and imagined fond memories of how our happy moments. When I was drunk, I went outside their house to watch her secretly. The pain was like I was going to die when I saw her so happy being with that man.
"I should have done that and I should have the one to feel, that," I said softly as tears flooded my eyes. I still couldn't really accept that she was gone. So far I had only been watching her. I saw her suddenly came out to breathe maybe. I immediately approached her even though I almost fell down due to drunkenness.
"Joana, I beg you. Force yourself to remember. Don't you really know who I am?" Begging I said to her while crying. "Or maybe you'll remember, you asked me before if I was handsome. Didn't I say I'm handsome but I actually lied so you wouldn't be ashamed to be with me?"
I plan to take her hand and place it to my chest so she can know how my heartbeats and maybe she'll remember me. But she pulled it out and pushed me because of drunkenness I fell to the ground. What she did hurt me even more. There was nothing, I'm not in her life anymore. I stood up just to leave and not look at her anymore. But I was hoping to stop me but there was nothing so I promised myself that I would not bother her anymore.
Months passed and I no longer bothered Joana. I still see her sometimes in their house every time I went to work and went home. Sitting outside but I avoid her seeing me. I don't like the way she thought I was annoyed her. Even though it was painful, I just accepted the truth. But one day I did not see her, another day I did not see her again, I was suddenly worried. I thickened my face and asked her parents where she was. I just found out that she was in the hospital because her head hurts. I thought maybe it was because of her amnesia.
"JOANA ....," I shouted so I could see her immediately in a hospital room. "Paul..., is that you?" Her voice was very weak and I think she was in pain. I approached her and I replied, "yes, it's me, Joana."
"Please come closer, I want to touch your handsome face."
She was joking even in her condition. I took her hand to place it to my face while I cried.
"Do you remember me now, Joana?" She just smiled at me and said, "I hope you forgive me Paul and of hurting you so much." I continued placing her hand to my face as the tears continued to flow. I could no longer control myself so I hugged her.
"I love you so much, Joana."
She smiled as she cried. I tightened my hug and she answered.
"I love you so much, Paul."
I could no longer feel her breath so I let go of her and looked at her. She closed her eyes and I woke her up but she never did.
"DOCTOR ....," I shouted for help. But the Doctor did nothing. Internal haemorrhage was said to be the result of her previous accident.
No more, I will never see her again. My dearest is gone. Heavy rainfalls as I cried in front of her grave.
"I tried to forget you, but I hope not like this Joana. I would rather choose to be with you with someone else rather than never see you again. Why did you do this to me, why Joana.?