Food for Sister
“Don’t make me laugh.”
The laughing burst.
“What were you expecting an answer of confessing your love to me?”
As a high school student, I thought I would not be embarrassed if I cried as much as possible. I was feeling inside to shout how my heart was hurt.
“Hey, Archie. Tell me. Are you joking, right?”
Alyssa kept embarrassing me to everyone inside the classroom even though it was already evident that I sulked.
I bit my lips and nodded to prevent myself from and showing teary eyes.
I was fortunate that the bell rang, it means its break time. All the students were so happy to go outside immediately. I was then not the center of the crowd.
At the shore where everything was calm and silent. I thought of releasing the pain including the insecurities. I began to blame my existence, for why being born ugly and poor. My tears flooded from the time I did self-pity.
“WHY IT’S SO UNFAIR??!!”
I shouted. I wept as I let the tears flow like a strong river flows.
I didn’t look back immediately even though I heard someone talking at my back. I nodded while glimpsing to fake the emotions I just had to make sure when I look back I would not embarrass myself. Of course, I was curious about who that person was talking to.
“Don’t be ashamed, young man.”
An old man suddenly appeared in front of me trying to comfort me with his facial expressions.
“You know it's okay to cry when your heart feels uneasy and heavy. Crying will help you feel a little bit relieved inside.”
I didn’t know what just happened but his words soothed me. Very calm water was the best explanation of what I felt when the old man comforted me. I felt like wanted to explode so I cried out loud to release it all including the disappointment in life.
“Just cry and ignore the surroundings. Think of it that it’s just you and the world right now.”
Because of what the old man said made me a confident person to cry as much as I wanted, like a shameless child crying.
“Are you at least feeling better now?”
I felt getting tired but actually, it helped to be lighter inside. I then told him my disappointment. From my appearance and from our life status. The old man was just a stranger but I didn’t understand why. I remained wondered why I became comfortable with him.
“Young man, don’t forget that you are still young. Those painful experiences will come more in the future because they are part of growing up. Your looks don’t conclude what kind of person you are. Don’t let yourself be down in despair by those judgments. Keep going and keep proving, they will realize later that what they were thinking of you is wrong.”
He stopped talking and looked around.
“See how the world is so beautiful but not only that, observe how it rotates. The morning comes and shows how the world is so beautiful. And when the night comes it doesn’t mean that it becomes ugly. Just rest if you want to but if you don’t want to, keep digging or keep looking. You will then learn that even in the darkness there is beauty resides that needs searching.”
While I was listening I didn’t know what to say. I was completely speechless and I thought that I was a fool thinking that I fully understood what is life. I appreciated his words and I felt like my eyes were opened.
“That’s why to cry, laugh, cry and laugh, it's fine to feel it again and again. Accept that everything is just part of the challenges you to become in the future. It’s okay to be afraid but don’t be a coward who runs away, face those fears. Cheer up and think of it that you already expected it so you will not be disappointed again.”
Then the old man left with a smile and my thoughts of resenting the world faded. I was thinking to be a loner earlier and avoid everyone to be free from the pain but it changed. I became confident that when I encounter Alyssa at school I would not be afraid to face her. I would just tell her that there’s nothing I could do because I really like her.
Thanks to that old man I felt like I became a person who could face those challenges.