It's been a while since I could see the future. I don't think of it as a gift but it's a curse to me. I know what will happen in the future, although there's no way I can prevent it from happening. I have no idea why I have this, all I know is that it suddenly happening. I wanted to forget it when I saw someone dying but it won't let me.
One time, I saw my neighbour died through a car accident. I cared for him because he was a good person and became a friend. I told him about it but he never listened to me and as what I predicted. He died into a car accident while walking beside the street in going home. I felt desperate and blamed myself because I knew it will happen. I tried to think about what to do but there's no escaping from it.
That's not the only time that has happened. I also kept on reminding those people but they didn't listen and when they died. Their family started blaming me for what happened. Since then, I never told someone what will happen to them even if I saw their future. I saw a lot that happened but I just kept on ignoring it. I made myself stronger as I accepted the fact that it's their destiny to die.
I woke up crying and very afraid. My whole body is trembling as I saw myself dying in my dream. I saw myself being slashed with a sword and being stabbed with a knife. I couldn't accept that kind of happening since it's very tortured for me to think of it. I have no idea what to do, I don't know to whom will I tell about it. I didn't go out instead because of fear and I'm hoping to avoid it to happen that way.
I'm living alone but I heard footsteps inside my house. I heard a cold voice in agony. I covered my ears and I don't want to look at my surroundings. I don't know but in my thoughts, I saw red eyes glaring at me. I think I'm going crazy if this will continue but I don't want to go out because I thought that will be the right action to avoid myself from dying.
It's almost a week and I feel very weak. I couldn't eat well because of anxiety. What if someone will just attack me from behind, what if someone will just run towards and what if. Too many bad thoughts came into my mind and that's the reason I will just eat bread and instant food. I wanted to go back to my room as fast so I can watch over my surroundings.
"Why is this happening to me?" In my thoughts, while holding myself not to do something stupid.
"I couldn't take it anymore!!"
I shouted while going outside. I'm determined that if I'll die, I will die for sure. I'm getting tired of acting like this, so I went outside and wait for someone to kill me. After a day and another day, nothing happens to me as I expected. It made me wonder why and I start collecting the data for those people I predicted to die. It's like I'm solving a puzzle but I don't where to start.
When I squeezed my brain deeply I realised something. The people who died were friends. I started checking their information by checking them on Facebook. I saw their faces but there's one person that I didn't see in my dream and I have no idea if still alive. I continue digging by visiting all their profiles on Facebook. I'm correct, Erwin wasn't in my dream but when I checked his profile. There is a post in his timeline saying condolence. I checked it more and I saw their last image together in that place. I remember that I was there passing by and noticed them having fun. From their actions and voices, they were all drunk.
"If Erwin died already why no one sees his body." My wondering if continues.
I finally understand why this happening to me. It's not that I can see the future but someone let me see it. Erwin dies already and he wanted to revenge for what happened to him. I know the answer so I'm walking towards that place where the last image of them together. I arrived in that place and I want to get back. It's so dark, the wind is so cold and with an uncomfortable feeling. But I'm determined to settle this because I will go crazy for sure if this will continue.
"ERWIN, SHOW YOURSELF!" I shouted and acting not being afraid but the truth is I'm shaking.
No one comes out but only a strong cold wind blows me. I covered my eyes so I can see clearly what surrounds me.
"SHOW YOURSELF, WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING ME WHEN I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU," I shouted again while expressing of being mad.
A ghost suddenly appears in front of me. The pale skin but no face make me think I want to run. I just prevent myself not to and because I want to talk to him.
"What do you mean you didn't do anything?" He started talking, "You know what happened to me but you didn't tell the police who killed me. You saw me being bitten by them but yet you didn't do anything?"
I began to get confused about what he's telling. "I have no idea of it, I know you were friends so I just leave you guys like that. You never asked help or shouted so that I will know." I asked him as well.
"How could I asked help when they covered my mouth." He defended himself.
"That's what I'm talking about. I have no idea because you were friends, close friends indeed. I'm sorry, I didn't know." I explained to him.
He cools down and started crying in a cold voice. "I thought they were my friends but they tortured me because I was the one being chosen by Maria and they couldn't accept it." He told me why it happened.
"Sorry about what happened to you. Please leave me alone, I promise I will offer you a prayer and let a priest visits here to make you rest eternity."
I started praying and he just disappears for an instant. The cold wind faded and the uncomfortable feeling is gone. Maybe he forgives me already and believed my words. I feel like a thorn in my body is being removed at last.