Food for Sister
The hope that I thought you will be the one to fill the space in my empty heart was gone. You gave me the courage to stay strong and cling in my meaningless life. I was so happy because I thought my life has a destination where to go, obviously to you. I forgot the meaning of sadness and I forgot that life has an ending because of you. All I thought was only happiness that can live in this world. I was aware that there's sadness but I thought I can avoid it as long as I'm with you. But all of my thoughts were gone because I realized that your world is not me and you can forget me anytime you will like.
It was painful when suddenly you left me hanging. I didn't know what to do in this world without you. I was so dependent on you that even when I walked I had to find you to guide my way. I don't want to think of it that you just gave me pain because I know deep inside you gave me happiness. Although there are some regrets that hope that I shouldn't have to meet you instead.
I hope for the first time I took my distance from you so that this pain won't be this painful. I just hope that I didn't let you guide my way because now it's hard for me to find the way where to go. But to tell you the truth there's still in me that I hope we could stay together. Why there is you that can't be mine and why there is the night that I'm not allowed to dream of you.
If I just know that this is what will happen I shouldn't have decided to love you more than of my life. Now it's hard for me to let go of you because I already built an ambition together with you. How will I force myself now that you will never come back to me? You betrayed my feelings but even so, I'm still hoping that we can go back like before. Although it's unsure because sometimes I think of regretting that I met you. Just forgive me, I just love you that much but the pain couldn't be ignored as well. Together with regrets is the heart longing to have you.
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