Food for Sister
The words I always wanted to hear from the woman I love. The words that for sure made me believe that she's mine for real and would not be taken away from me……
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I heard the beeping sound of the message received notifying me that I was accepted to work abroad. It was my dream to have a better future with the woman I love.
I grew up in puberty and I could tell how hard it was. My mother left and broke my father's heart and mine when she couldn't take the hardships in life being poor. That's why I decided to work hard for my future when I'd have a family.
I called my girlfriend on the phone after I read the message. Hanna and I have been in a relationship for more than 5 years. Together, we built our dreams and we talked about it already about me going abroad.
"Are you sure about this Jhunrey?"
She asked me right away when we were seated in a restaurant we promised to meet up to talk about it.
I showed her a smiling face.
"This is what we were waiting for such a long time so our marriage will happen."
I held her face.
"The contract is just 2 years and after that, we will be together again and will not be separated again."
I convinced her to support my decision because this is for us.
"Okay, we can make things work out."
She replied and I was so happy about it but still, a little bit of loneliness was rubbing my heart inside. I love Hanna very much and I was afraid that things might change between us if we would be far apart.
"Please take care of yourself here."
I couldn't take away my stare from Hanna. I kept looking into her eyes with a sad face. She was not crying but her tears were slowly plunging and of course, I could not take it.
I hugged her tightly, quenching my tears to let it all out so I could take my leave already. However, things got worse so I faked myself smiling despite the non-stop tears falling.
I caught my breath and found the strength to leave.
"I have to go or else I will miss the flight."
I could hear Hanna's voice agonizing. She didn't stop crying but I decided not to look back or else I would not have the courage to leave anymore. I let the tears flood my path to take me floating to a destination where my dreams were.
When I arrived abroad our time was not the same. I was working while she was sleeping. When I went home after work we could only talk to each other and see each other on the phone.
We didn't have much time to talk because one of us was already tired. It's hard for us to spend more time much longer. But still, with just that I was happy even though I missed her so much. It's enough for me to feel safe with her and to feel that it's only me she loves.
I thought we were okay. I was confident that we could make things work out because I believe what she said. However, after a year of being far apart, some things were changed.
We barely talked to each other. I was jealous when she was out with her friends. I wish I was there so I could watch her and accompany her in having fun. Instead of spending 1 hour before going to sleep she insisted on sleeping and talked about it tomorrow because she was so tired. She knew that we didn't have that time because by the time she woke up I slept already. I thought something was not right anymore.
More months passed and we never contacted each other. She didn't answer my call anymore and because of it, I thought I would be crazy. More nights after working I drank myself to ease the pain but still, it didn't work out. I could not forget Hanna because I love her so much.
I decided to go home and didn't finish my 2 years contract. I wanted to see Hanna and asked her what was happening but of course, wishing we could fix our relationship. I didn't want to waste the time I had with her being deeply in love.
I was so happy to see her once again.
"I'm so happy that you came to see me and work things out."
I was desperately smiling and tried to hold her hands.
"No, I came here to have a proper closure."
She answered me right away and removed her hands from mine.
I got emotional immediately knowing that she totally forget about how she loved me.
"Things change, Jhunrey."
That's what she only told me even though I was begging her to love me again. I forced her not to go and leave me. I held her hand while crying but she looked at me madly. I had no choice but to let it because I didn't want her to hate me or resent that I didn't have the chance to pursue her love once more. But actually, it never happened, I had no chance to do so because I heard from a friend that she was getting married after 5 months.
I was not invited but I bravely went to the church and witnessed her wedding. I was at the back crying because I accepted the fact that she would never be mine for sure.
I was longing for those words to hear from her but sadly not for me, for someone. I wonder how I could live without her since I've been loving her for so long.