Forgiveness

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I was born in this world with a knowledge of how unfair life is. It's hard for us to buy rice to eat every meal while other people just throwing their foods in the garbage. At a young age, I witnessed how rich people treated us, poor people. They were pushing me away like we were a virus that can give sickness. How our kind of life differs from each other. The clothes we wearing and the appearance are so obvious.

There were times when I was still young that I was jealous of rich people. That's why I tried my best to achieve something to reach that kind of life. I know it's unfair, I understood it well but it didn't bring me down. I hide all the problems with a smile so I had no time of thinking how pathetic we were. Every day I motivated myself to keep on moving forward. My life would do not change if I would stay jealous and envious without doing actions. I did my best to be a top student so that I can have a scholarship in a popular school. By studying in this kind of school there would be a big chance that I could have a good job in the future.

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"Sir, please check this proposal from Arco company. They wanted us to support them and here are their conditions below." My pretty secretary named Clarissa told me. I checked the proposal but I rejected it.

"Sir, the products have potentials and we will have the advantage for it," Clarissa said with a surprise face. I just look at her, "Sorry sir." she left.

At the of 30, I became a successful businessman in our country. The company that I started becoming so popular that many bigger companies want to invest and want to be part of it. The hungriness and jealousy when I was young faded already. I have everything and I can buy everything if I want to. No one knows my past because the people are just focused on what I achieved right now. In fact, I've been in random places because I have the money to spend. I thought it will give me happiness but I was wrong. I didn't feel anything because I'm not happy at all.

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"Everyone before we will start let's welcome our special guest for today. The most successful bachelor in our country Ramsey Tapnes."

The governor in our region announced because I was invited to a birthday party with his daughter. Everyone is clapping and I could hear their whispers. "Is that him, he's so young and handsome." I look at them with a smile and all of them are smiling back. They thought I would feel thankful because they consider me like a VIP. This is how rich people do to earn friends and assistance for them in the future. They thought I would give a damn about this but to have a good image. A polite me and respectful should they'll see. A fake smile to everyone and endless wave that is so tiring.

"Ahem, good evening everyone. How so pleasure I am to be invited to our kind and loving father in our region. I was thinking not to attend because I don't deserve this but as you can expect to our Governor Mercado."

I look at the Governor and he looks so crazy acting cool because I praised him. I just smile inside, if he just knew what I'm thinking.

"I'm grateful for the warmth support to all of you here. Without you, my company for sure will not rise to the top. Without your love, my company for sure will remain in the dust. Now that I have given to speak to all of you now. I will take for granted this situation to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH to all of you."

Everyone is clapping again and sounds like the room will be destroyed. When I get down and put the microphone back. Too many people are shaking hands to me that it's so tiring. I know they are just showing a fake smile and fake treatment because I am rich now.

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The governor brings her daughter whose celebrating the birthday. He introduced it to me because he didn't know I know her already. Kyla stunned when she saw me. She has no idea that it's me having that popular name in our country.

"Are you Ramsey, Jericho?" She couldn't believe that it's me. I just smiled at her and she suddenly pulled me from the people surrounds me and said. "Father, I will talk to him alone. He's my friend."

We arrived outside and she said right away. "What's the meaning of this Jericho. How did you change your name?" I smile at her and replied, "money."

"I know, but where have you been? Did you know that before your father died he kept calling on you." She said.

"Don't bring it now Kyla," I replied to her while controlling my temper.

"But it's true, you didn't know how he loved you and-,"

"SHUT UP Kyla, you don't know anything," I shouted.

"Then tell me so that I will understand, please we are friends, right?"

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My father got drunk all day when my mother died. He didn't care for us anymore and just let me live alone. I was so young back then with so much to worry about life. He didn't guide me and drowned me with loneliness instead. I graduated in high school on my own. He didn't even there when I received the medal of recognition as a top student. I could forgive him if he just shows up but he never did. I love him so much because even though we were just poor he was full of energy that made a happy family. I hate him so much that I did my best not to experience those hardships like before. I dreamed to be rich without him because he was a failure as a father.

I spoke everything that Kyla didn't know. "Then you just talked to me that my father was looking for me?" I cried suddenly because deep inside I miss him so much. I kept refusing offers these days because I don't know what's happening to me. It seems I'm looking for something but I didn't know. I cried slowly thinking of my father and started walking away from Kyla to go home. She holds me but I said, "Let me go." She let me go and I get inside the car. "I will go with you," Kyla suddenly gets inside the car. She's so persistent like before. "Do what you like."

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I don't understand but the car brings me into the cemetery. I don't know even though I'm the one whose driving. We get out the car and Kyla brings me where my father was buried. There's a photograph in his grave with my mother, me and him smiling. My chest suddenly feels being compressed. I have no idea but my tears are falling with a pathetic face. I kneel and cries like a kid.

"Father, mother I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry."

No words are coming in my mouth. All I want is asking forgiveness as I remember how we were before. I miss them, I miss them so much. I wanted to let them feel how to have a rich life but they can't anymore. I'm mad to myself as I'm hitting my chest.

"Why?! Why?! I'm alone now."

Kyla hugs me and stops me from hitting myself. "It's alright Jericho," she said.

Tears of me are now flooding when Kyla comforts me. I want to let it out for such a long time. I want this sadness to go out but I don't know how. So this is the reason why. I cry and cry while hugging Kyla tightly.

"I'm sorry father and mother. I will be back again and again. I will use my money to allow the other children to finish their studies. You might be gone but there are still things I can do for others."

END