Fake smile


I'm sitting in the park while enjoying my lonely life. Watching those couples having a dAte in each side of the corner. I just smile while watching them because they look so cheesy. I just remember how I was a lover boy before. I continue smiling alone while thinking those words I had a conversation with my ex-girlfriend.

"Love, I don't feel like eating." My ex said as she showed me her frowned face. "I need your hug."

I knew it was just her way of catching my attention but you know in love. I just showed her a frowned face as well and looks like crying as I hug her and said a slow voice. "Please don't be like that my love, you know I cared for you that much that even a single mosquito I wouldn't let it touches you."

I keep on smiling as I remember how stupid I was saying those words. I'm busy thinking the words I said before.

"Hey, are you crazy, smiling alone?" A woman voice suddenly spoke to me and pushed me. I fell in the ground from where I seated. When I look back who was pushing me. It's my classmate and friend, Kaye. She's laughing at me while looking at me as I'm startled who is it. "What are you dreaming Roj? You really like an idiot earlier."

I scrub my head and said, "I was watching those couples so sweet. I knew that they were exchanging vomiting words for sure." I continue smiling while I blinked on her. "What now, can we not?" I teased her and he threw at me the notebook I gave her to do our assignment. "Asshole." I continue laughing as I'm enjoying watching Kaye being annoyed.


Kaye became my friend when I saw her crying in the park. I love to stay in the park because of the chill feeling that nature gives me. She's a good classmate and I felt bad watching her before cried so hard. Many people watched her like that before I arrived. I didn't know how to talk first since we are not a friend. We are just classmate but not talking inside the room. Especially that Kaye is one of the pretty girls in our room. I'm known a joker but only to my close friend and I know whom to make fun with. Before I knew for sure Kaye was not part of the laughing woman. I hesitated of talking to her but I didn't want her to keep on crying.

I didn't know what to say back then because I was shy. I just kept on passing in her front and when she glanced I stop and posed like in a bodybuilding competition. I did it for an hour and actually, I felt tired. Instead of laughing she was mad at me. She said I was annoying and ridiculous. I seated beside her and whispered a question.

"Hey, do you really think I'm hot?" She didn't answer but stared at me with a judgemental look. She frowned her face and turned his head away from me. "Thanks, you are an honest woman." She laughed at me and said, "Are you really that stupid?" I just answered her with a blink and smiled. I handed her my handkerchief to her to wipe her tears and said. "Please don't sneeze on it, I will take it back." She smiled and sneezed hard on my handkerchief. She laughed hard but I smiled because I was happy that she's fine already.

She started talking and told me that her boyfriend cheated on her by having a relationship with her best friend. I just comforted her and told her that there were instances like that. I always have a bad mouth in terms of joking and I don't stop my mouth from saying anything. I just told her with a smile.

"Don't worry, your boyfriend is not the only has a sword." She looked confused when I asked her. She didn't get what I mean and I enjoyed it watching her like that. She forced me to tell but I didn't tell her. She didn't stop and she's so persistent. She pushed me and fell again. I was surprised by what she did. "Really? Are we close?" I said it seriously but for us, it's a funny way. She looked so mad as her eyes were getting bigger and said. "I said what do you mean by that?" She really wanted to know so I simply smile, whistling and not looking at her. And then I pinpointed my gun in the middle. She became mad and hit me with her bag. She kept on hitting me so I ran but she kept on following me showing a mad face. I was enjoying it and because of it, we became a really close friend.


I keep on talking about how stupid love is because actually, I confessed my love to Kaye long ago. I'm comfortable with her but I wanted her to be mine. I thought she has a feeling towards me because we are so close to each other that even our classmates think we are girlfriend and boyfriend. But she doesn't have that special feeling towards me. When I said I loved her she just replied, "We will not be happy like this if we go over. Please, let's stay like this Roj. I don't want to be in a relationship as well for now."

That's what she said to me before but she lied to me. I learned already that her ex-boyfriend came back at her and she thinks I don't know. I let myself enjoying in the park watching those couples but the fact is. I silently crying inside seeing Kaye and her boyfriend hiding in that big tree every afternoon. I act cheerful to her so she will not realize that I already know about her relationship. I am faking my feelings towards her when she's around. Of course, it's painful but that's the only way I could forget the pain and continue on smiling. I know that it's the reason why she continues to be my friend. I smile when she looks at me but I cry when she turns her back at me.


thank you for reading